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"They don't see it as a one-night stand, even though it might turn out that way, because they really feel they have a relationship with this man." Padgett surveyed 740 women who posted personal ads on seven dating Web sites.

Some were looking for love, others for sex, she said.

He called it the "halo syndrome." "It can be pretty high emotion and high passion on that first meeting," he said.

Of the women who answered the survey, half were divorced and more than three-quarters had at least some college education.

While our styles might be different, our mission is similar to Lex and Terry’s: to help people, especially daters, overcome whatever challenge they happen to be facing.

Some watched for inconsistencies in men's stories, asked for a photo or talked on the phone to judge character. The women also took precautions on the first date, such as meeting in a public place.

"When somebody's sitting by their laptop at home and writing these sterile e-mails to each other, there's no sense of emotionality," he said.

"But when they meet and they get aroused, life changes." Among the general population, condom use with a new partner is more common, said Lawrence Finer, director of domestic research for the Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit that focuses on sex research. According to a survey by ABC News in 2004, 17 percent of women report having had sex on a first date, compared with 42 percent of men.

More than half of women under 30 use a condom when they first have sex with a new partner, Finer concluded after analyzing data from the U. Experts say women tend to underestimate those figures and men tend to overestimate.

Online dating, Padgett said, enables women to ignore men who don't make them feel safe or fit their standards.

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