Years later, Robert Baratheon caved Rhaegar’s chest in at the Battle of the Trident, effectively ending the Targaryen dynasty.’Twas a nice little speech the ex–Master of Whisperers gave Tyrion about the future of the country, the good of the realm, and how he knew Robert Baratheon would be a disaster from the beginning, which was why he’s been plotting a Targaryen restoration.It’ll be cathartic for them in a way my anguished screams never could.” “You have to be alive for it. Look, if you’re not going to kneel—” “I’m sorry, kneeling’s still off the table.” “I respect the way you’re sticking to your principles in the face of being burned alive.” “I appreciate that. Drinking loosens me up for all the scintillating conversations I’m going to have with the flight attendants.That said, I’m guessing Tyrion didn’t have a call button installed in his box when he needed Varys to bring him a neck pillow.Our Maester estimated that the boat ride to Pentos took around a week.There aren’t enough copies of in the Seven Kingdoms to get me through that journey.Or the badass who crafted his own sigil, told Edmure, “The laws of my fist are going to compel your teeth,” and compared Walder Frey to a “wet shit”? The Brotherhood Without Banners: These dudes did a pretty shitty thing when they sold Gendry to the Red Woman, but we’re willing to overlook that transgression for the sake of entertainment.
(Despite, you know, having been in a boat with Melisandre mere episodes prior? Nymeria managed to make the most of her two episodes of Season 1 screen time, mauling Joffrey’s arm before Arya banished her for her own protection; surely she could take some bites out of the other pesky posers on Arya’s list? It’s his thing.” “If I’m killed at all, I would very much like it to be less painful than that. I could eat a giant feast until my heart stops or stomach explodes.Remember: All men must die, all men must serve, and a man must reappear on our television screens before we turn to wolfsbane darts to ease our despair. Well, while Edmure’s fate may be more relevant to those in the Riverlands, we’re way more fussed about where the self-styled Blackfish got to after leaving the great hall to take that pressing leak.Let’s be real: Whom are we missing more, the guy who can’t shoot arrows, screws up his king’s battle plans, and is so busy making sexy-time with his new bride that he doesn’t realize most of his family is being slaughtered a few rooms away?But it’s not like the Targaryens were paragons of peace.Mad King Aerys had people burned alive without a trial and Robert’s Rebellion was in no small part a result of Aerys’s brutality.