Funny redneck dating jokes

Well, aren't you hotter than a mama cougar in heat running from my hunting dogs in August? If you were a tree and I was a squirrel, i'd store my nuts in you.

I may not have as many teeth as Fred Flinstone, but wanna watch me make my bedrock? My still is in the back of my camper- Or as I call it- my sheep shack. Tell me honey ham, did it hurt when the devil spit you up and you landed here?

"Let's go fishing, I'll be the rod, you be the fish and later on we'll hook up! If you think this buckle is big wait till you see what's behind it. Your Ass Looks Nice, does it need servicing cause I got a wrench and some screws just for you. You're hair is just about as purdy as that squirrel's I skinned this morning.

If I were a tractor and you were a plow, I would definitely hook up with you. Are you a garbage can because I'm trash and I want to be inside of you. Hey you remember that BBQ, when I slapped my meat on you grill. Wow, I bet you were really hot when you were about my age! Spend the night with me and I'll teach you all kinds of cool scientific stuff like that! So give me a minute darling, and then I'll give you one!

The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch.

So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath the boat.

So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Husband: Why don’t you just rub toilet paper on your nipples.

No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22-ft Bayliner to perform.

She called and said, 'There's water in the carburettor'. ' She said, 'In the lake.' (Henny Youngman)Never go to bed mad. (Phyllis Diller) Brigands demand your money or your life, women require both. Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, my wife, new to boating was having a problem.

"I might be missing teeth, but that just leaves more room for your tongue." "Like my belt buckle? If I were a tractor and you were a plow, I would definitely hook up with you...

My Love fer you is like diarrhea - I kin't hold it in. Country boys don't need pick-up lines, cause they've got pick-up trucks. You go curves like a racetrack, and tonight, I'm gonna be your Ricky Bobby. If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

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