Equality in dating
I was reading some comments on a dating article last week, and they highlighted a point that I already knew: In this day and age, there are two opposing forces—chivalry and equality. When my female clients tell me that they want a take-charge kind of guy, the kind who asks them out confidently and who pays for the bill, what they have to remember is that things are now blurred.(Please note that in this column, I am defaulting to opposite-sex couples, but similar concepts apply in same-sex couples.) I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: I’m all for women’s independence, and I believe that women should be paid the same as men in the workplace and have all of the same privileges in life. But women also have a need to feel pursued, special, and secure. I believe men need to feel appreciated, and sometimes needed, but not taken advantage of, especially financially. One woman wants this treatment, and another wants to yell “I am woman, hear me roar” and not be treated to anything.If you answered “yes” to all of these questions, congratulations: your relationship is pretty equal!If you answered “no” to one or more questions, you and your partner might want to work on creating more balance in your relationship, and check to make sure that your relationship isn’t becoming unhealthy or abusive.Start meeting singles in Equality today with our free online personals and free Equality chat!Equality is full of single men and women like you looking for dates, lovers, friendship, and fun.
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Some women have no interest in being treated—financially or otherwise—to things, don’t want to be made to feel taken care of (“I can open that myself, thank you.”) and don’t think the man should be responsible for any more or less than the woman. What’s confusing is that chivalry and equality are now butting heads.
I’m seeing that younger generations, like millennials, have much more of the equality mindset, whereas baby boomers prefer the chivalry. I thought the last person I dated seriously handled things well… He asked if I liked the door held open for me (yes), if I liked to be treated sometimes to dinner (yes), and if I liked when he moved to stand on the outside of the sidewalk (again, yes). His last girlfriend wanted none of that because she grew up in a home with such traditional gender roles that she was trying to break out of that mindset. Lastly, on the flip side, if you want something (mainly speaking to the women here), tell your partner.
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