Dating women have been abused
I, legitimately, walk the planet on a daily basis knowing that there is someone out there that wants to physically harm me. It’s also the easiest way to find yourself outside of my circle of friends.I live knowing that, at any minute, Mike could return. And it kept me alive every day before and every day after. I’m not asking you to understand what I’ve been through, but I am asking you to understand that my strength is there. Before my abuse I searched for answers about religion.And I’m only able to do this because on a hot July afternoon I picked up my broken body from the concrete floor and limped out of the door, without looking backward. Nobody was there to protect me from the madness, nor did they hold me by the arm while I walked on a strained ankle and battered knee. But I didn’t, knowing that if I took even a second longer than necessary he might kill me. It wasn’t easy to come home to a house that didn’t have electricity or running water. I wasn’t sure who made decisions or why they were made, but I wanted to find out.
We were in love and we were great together, so it wasn’t exactly easy to admit to anyone that things had changed. I stayed because I have a heart that works the way a normal heart should work. And it was close enough that I could see it while I was cleaning the kitchen. And I was never left alone anymore, so I couldn’t escape. He got me a job at his office so that I could be there with him all day too. A list of 1,000 reasons why I stayed wouldn’t ever appease someone who’s never been in my shoes. But the bottom line is that when you ask me why I stayed, it puts the blame on me. And we’re also giving individuals the tools they need to make individual change—-with their own relationships, with the way they parent, with their ability to be more conscious, more mindful, and more insightful. But for those of us here at The Good Men Project, it is not overwhelming. We do it with teamwork, with compassion, with an understanding of systems and how they work, and with shared insights from a diversity of viewpoints.” —– Lisa Hickey, Publisher of The Good Men Project and CEO of Good Men Media Inc.Authors Shaver, Hazan and Bradshaw (1988) write the following about sexual desire: "Sexual desires are among the strongest motivators of human behavior, and sexual gratification is one of the greatest human pleasures." One of the most enduring myths about rape is that rape stems from sexual desire, but it is crucial to see the difference: Rape is about power and not about sexual gratification.Sadly, rape remains a major problem in society today because men still seek to exert power over women in this heinous way (and women over men, to a lesser extent).Perhaps if we think more about this issue, we can educate those who have relationships with women who have been raped to be more sensitive.My goal is to make a few points that could help you understand your sex or relationship partner better and to help make the experience for the woman as comforting and soothing as possible.
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Extensive research exists on the numbers of women who have been raped, and much of the research shows that sexual assault and rape occur in extremely high numbers at colleges and universities.