Boyfriend have been dating
If I’m being honest, we ignored the Gottman’s date three location suggestion – naked in bed – and instead lounged on the couch.
Nonetheless, I thought the date went really well, and Mike and I ended the conversation feeling on the same page.
The Gottmans recommended having the fourth date in a location that made us “feel wealthy or rich in some way.” Luckily, it was restaurant week in New York, so we were able to book a table at an upscale restaurant and eat a three-course meal for a discounted price.
For this date, we talked about more obvious money-related topics, like our spending habits and our fears regarding money.
As a person who has been with the same person for the past eight years, I feel like I have a decent amount of relationship experience.
With that experience, I’ve learned the importance of open and honest communication, which I truly believe has kept my relationship strong.
The authors, psychologists John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman, have researched relationships for over 40 years and created “Eight Dates” to help couples navigate difficult conversations with eight seemingly simple dates.
My boyfriend Mike and I decided to go on the dates and discuss topics like trust, sex, and money with the Gottmans’ advice. Mike and I have stayed together despite attending different colleges and doing long distance for four years.
Now we live in New York City together and just celebrated our eight-year anniversary in February.
For Mike, I chose things like “You have supported my own personal goals” and “You understand my sense of humor.” Then, when we convened at our local park, we shared our lists out loud.
“Thinking about ways to cherish your partner will give power to your connection,” the authors wrote of this exercise, and it definitely did.
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We asked each other questions about our sex life and at the end of the questions, we had to “affirm our future together,” as the Gottmans call it.