Being desperate dating
but they definitely don’t want the pressure of always keeping you happy by making your choices for you. We shouldn’t all walk around ignoring that other people exist, or have feelings. Sometimes we do or say the worst things thinking we’re right only to later discover we were idiots. The BEST place to start “finding” ourselves is in our own thoughts, because this is where the outside world infects us first… Our minds fill with chaos and noise naturally, that’s where creativity comes from. So I’m not saying it’s wise to walk around grabbing ass, punching dudes, or stealing shit without a care for how it impacts other people. And that’s the risk of the honest person, and of the leader. we hear the judgements of our parents, friends, mentors, all in our heads when we’re making decisions, taking actions, feeling things… Any thought that makes you feel shame, or fear, needs to be challenged or ignored. Do practice noticing your inner dialogue and notice what thoughts empower you, an what thoughts fill you with fear, embarrassment, shame, resentment or regret. It’s up to you which thoughts you decide to cling onto, and which ones you giggle at as they comes and go. This leaves us victims to the whims and nature of others. With some courage and patience you can discover another reality where others seek your approval and opinions, instead of the other way around. Because a leader accepts responsibility for being wrong, learns and moves on. So if you want to “find yourself” then you need to accept the risk of rejection and stop editing yourself around others.It not only leaves us resentful of the world, but makes others resentful of us. And being needy and desperate pushes people away, especially women we’re wanting to date. There’s another way where we can take off our Social Masks and instead just “be ourselves” .. It’s the cowards who dread being wrong, and then stop trying. Get yourself “okay” with the judgements and ridicule of others.Our fearful selves get peer pressured into doing things we don’t really want to do. Women will chase a man who’s brutally honest over the doormat who just says what he thinks others want to hear.We get bullied and pushed around by own friends as way to feel safe. The pay off is personal pride and power, even when we’re often wrong.Our “fearful self” lies and manipulates in order to receive the percieved safety of group approval and acceptance.It’s the fearful self that just gives in and agrees with the group instead of speaking out with honest thoughts and opinions.
Because we’re genetically evolved to NEED social connection and influence… Basically we FEAR that others will dislike us or reject us, and we learn this as soon as we learn to talk.If you keep trying to play everything we are playing, it’s going to get old.Sure it’s fun to run the pool table out one Saturday night with you.Yet we can smell desperation on a woman the same way you can smell shadiness on a man. A simple meeting of the eyes, coy smile and slow look-away should do it. Otherwise he may think you’re just zoning out and didn’t even notice him. Okay, you can do it one more time in case he’s a little slow on the pick up or is still trying to screw up his courage. We may come up and talk to you later but if you keep throwing stuff in our direction, you’ll come across as needy and desperate. I know, I know, it’s an unqualifiable generalization. First, your girls may be beautiful but save them for the bedroom. Obviously if you’re busty, they’re there but no need to bare lots of skin. If you’re going for bohemian chic, the patchwork skirt and printed top would be enough.How does one maintain an air of approachability without becoming a desperate dater? DO: In order to get noticed, you need to be noticeable. A brightly colored top, a flowing skirt, kick-ass boots or an interesting hair clip could do the job. You don’t need the hand-knitted cap, woven hemp bracelets, chunky wooden jewelry, hair ribbon, tasseled leather bag and your Antik Batik sequin sandals. Pool, darts, cigars, Mario Kart, ball busting, whatever.
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Being “just one of the guys” is all well and good as long as you are “just one of the girls” as well.